I feel lost without you. I wish you were here but I know you shouldn’t be. I wish i was happy but i know I’m not. I wish things didn’t have to be this way. If only i could wish away our troubles. But I can’t. I love you. But I wish I didn’t sometimes. Maybe that would make it easier not to care so much. So then I wouldn’t give a shit. I wish I was more like you and not this blubbering mess I’ve come to know so well. I’m sorry for being this way. I know you hate it and it makes sense because I feel the same way. You could never begin to hate me more than I hate myself for everything I put you through. It hurts me so much to be this way but I can’t help it. I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry. You don’t deserve to be weighted with my burdens. 

I’m sorry. 

I love you, forever and ever.